The pains of cleanliness
by Concise Complexity
Summary: Kagome and Sango go out for an overnight trip leaving Inuyasha to watch the apartment... and Miroku. But despite Inuyasha's supposed supervision the monk still manages to throw a party. And they have to clean it up before Kagome and Sango get back.


**Yay my first one-shot and my first Inuyasha fic all in one! Yeah don't ask about some of this stuff. If it seems really random it probably is because I couldn't think of any other way to fit it into the story… Oh yeah I don't do humor very well!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters.**

"I don't see why I have to watch him as well as our apartment while you two are gone!" Inuyasha growled at Kagome and Sango as they were on their way out the door, "Where ya goin anyway?"

Kagome sighed in exasperation, "I told you yesterday, Sango and I are going to that concert we have tickets to."

"And a certain monk needs guidance." The demon slayer glared at her own roommate, "Normally I wouldn't ask you to do anything like this but since the concert is so far, we're going to have to stay overnight at a hotel. Do not let him leave."

"Why can't Kirara watch him? She should be capable."

"Because Kirara is coming too."

The cat demon poked her tiny head out of Sango's pocket and mewed.

"Sango I am certain that this isn't----"

"Miroku this is very necessary."

"Alright the hotel number and all the emergency numbers are on the refrigerator and there's some money for pizza on the counter. We'll be back around 11 tomorrow afternoon. Bye!" Kagome shut the door.

"What is she my mother?" Inuyasha scowled, "And why do I of all people have to keep an eye on you?"

"If you don't want to I can leave." Miroku started towards the door.

"No." The hanyou looked dangerous.

"Okay then."

There was an ominous silence.

"Dammit what the hell am I supposed to do while she's gone!"

"We could have a wild party…"

"Do you have any idea what they'd say if they found out we----"

Miroku knocked him unconscious, tied him up and stuck him in a closet.

"Nnng." Inuyasha growled as he was shaken awake the next morning.

"Inuyasha. Inuyasha, get up quickly." Miroku commanded a nervous look on his face.

"Whaddya- Hey! Why in the hell did you-" The half-breed's eyes widened at the state of his apartment, "What in the seven hells did you do?"

Chairs were overturned and picture frames were broken. There was food all over the walls and empty beer and wine bottles everywhere. There were even holes burnt into the cushions of the couch. It smelled terrible.

The monk laughed nervously, "Perhaps you should worry about helping me clean now and killing me later. As you can see we have a lot of work to do. Now do you know how to take stains out of the carpet?"

"Does it look like I throw parties and clean up after them often! This is your fault! You clean it!"

"Inuyasha, we only have three hours."

The hanyou said nothing and began picking up bottles and other odd assortments of trash. Suddenly he stopped and demanded in a dangerous voice, "What is a set of Kagome's underwear doing out here?" He held up a set of pink lacy (not to mention revealing) underwear.

"Never mind that- ack!" Miroku ducked a beer bottle hurtling at him, "How are we going to clean that up besides with our bare hands?"

"I know!" Inuyasha brought a vacuum out of the closet, "We can use this! Kagome says it's called a vac-somethin."

"But do you know how to use it?"

He snorted, "Of course. Ya stick this thingy in here." He attempted to stick the cord into the electrical socket but only succeeded in shocking himself, "Dammit! What the hell? This is exactly what she did!"

After about 5 minutes of cursing and shocking himself he finally got it to work. Everything was going well until somehow he managed to get the cord caught in it.

"What in the seven-"

A loud explosion cut off his shout. The rug caught on fire soon followed by the couch.

"Did it do that when Kagome was using it?" Miroku growled while trying to stamp out the flames.

"No!" His voice was higher pitched then usual.

Eventually they managed to put out the flames.

"What should we do about the couch?" He asked.

"We tell them that loud thing exploded and caught fire. And then we run." The monk answered simply.

He growled doggishly and continued picking up trash with a sweat drop.

"We're done! And we still have-"

"The bathroom to clean."

Inuyasha's eye twitched, "I'm done helping you! Dammit you made this mess and I've cleaned just as much as you have! You're doin the bathroom by yourself!"

Seeing he wasn't going to get past the half-breed's stubbornness Miroku took out the cleaner and entered the bathroom, "Oh dear it seems that the cleaner for the toilet isn't labeled." He muttered frowning at the large assortment of chemicals before him, "I suppose I should just use all of them." He began dumping chemicals into the bowl of the toilet.

"What the hell is that idiot doing?" Inuyasha growled covering his nose and mouth with his hand, "And what the hell is that smell? Miro-ku?"

The monk was sprawled out on his back, out cold.

His eyes began to water. Unfortunately he wasn't smart enough to realize that it was the chemical reaction of all the cleaners causing him to cough violently. He fainted.

"Inuyasha! Miroku! We're back!" Kagome waited a second for a reply, "Inuyasha?"

"Kagome, what is that stench?" Sango asked covering her nose and mouth.

"Oh my God." Kagome muttered, annoyed when she saw the empty containers and Miroku and Inuyasha knocked out on the floor. She quickly flushed the toilet thus ending the fumes.

I'm sure everyone was quite ready for that to be over so I'll end it there. Goodness, Miroku is really really really hard to write! Sorry if I screwed up their personalities! Yay I finally got a copy of Ten Little Indians! (And then there were none) I can finally start working on my Saiyuki fic! However I'm feeling lazy so not right now! I get to move into my new house next week! I'm so excited! It was built in 1762 (seriously!) and it's next to a graveyard! How cool is that?


End file.
